The decision to use donor eggs is one of the most emotionally significant choices a person can make on their fertility journey. I have been running our egg donor program since 2005, and over these two decades I have helped hundreds of patients navigate this path — and witnessed the profound joy when the baby finally arrives.
A Question of Identity
When DNA cannot be shared, questions of identity and connection naturally arise. Will I bond with the baby? Will the child feel truly mine? These are valid questions, and they deserve honest, thoughtful conversation — not dismissal.
At the Cochrane Colloquium, I once presented a patient story — inspired by twelve years of clinical experience — about a woman who had to confront the possibility of not using her own eggs. The experience of watching an audience of scientists engage with that narrative confirmed something I already believed: the emotional dimension of fertility medicine must be taken as seriously as the clinical one.
What the Science Tells Us
Epigenetics research increasingly shows that the environment a baby develops in — including the uterine environment provided by the recipient mother — plays a meaningful role in gene expression. The mother who carries the pregnancy is not simply a bystander. She shapes the child from the very beginning.
The decision of not using one’s own DNA can be difficult. But egg donation provides meaningful opportunities for women who cannot use their own eggs — and the arrival of the baby is wonderful.
We are here to support patients through every dimension of this decision — with scientific information, emotional honesty, and time to think.
